A Bumpy Ride

There was a time when the earth was flat; when there was an end of the world, when you could fall off the edge and be gone. But, then the change came – Round! This went deep in every aspect of life and we started going around in circles – never reaching conclusions. Development made us all more capable but weaker. This little piece is devoted to that change; the change in psychology, the change in us.

These days I am re-reading “The Fountainhead”. I recommend you all to get a copy if you haven’t read it (believe me; Ayn Rand is not giving me any commissions). I always think that the book affects me in undesirable ways (for me or for people, I am not so sure). It makes me less social and more straightforward, which apparently isn’t a very nice thing. Anyways, this is one among many lines to make a note of – Hands do perspire when held too long.

Today an event triggered me. Something that made me reflect back on my relation and the future it holds. I might be too young to preach, but freedom of expression is what makes us grow. The institution of marriage – one area where changes are rarely welcomed; social bindings and unpleasant surprises instil fear in us all. We face roughness in our daily lives too; but, fights between friends or partners – which is more severe? Flipping the coin; spending time or spending a lifetime – which is more charming? After all, nothing is free.

Growth is a painful process. There is a time in our lives when one is carefree. A time when the street shopping and the petty movies are fun; when the stairs outside a closed store is the best place to sit; when your broken legs still carries you cheerfully; when an upsetting thing is a taunt or a comment. We strive for happiness and independence has spoiled us all. Rules are meant to be broken, but I choose few guidelines to live by. U.E.C – Understanding, Expectations and Comparisons; these will be my chosen ones. A firm understanding with mutual expectations and no comparisons is how I will put them.

My Supervisor said that arranged marriages are better than love marriages. I hate to agree to a certain degree. While love marriages provide one the comfort of knowing partner in advance, it poses a problem – History and Comparison. The lover always reminds you of the times when there was fun without worries. But, you wouldn’t do bungee jumping at 90 would you? We always neglect the good additions and focus on the subtractions. There are three E’s of love marriage –
1. Efforts – You just saw your girl.
2. Experiments – You are about to get engaged.
3. Equilibrium – Happily married.

The third phase proceeds to stagnation and the issues begin. Priorities change; People start to adjust and transform. Suddenly Friday nights stop being colorful and Saturdays get lazy. All the annoying habits, nagging, responsibilities and arguments start becoming too much to handle. Gay Hendricks said Most couples have not had hundreds of arguments; they've had the same argument hundreds of times. There is a problem with the society – we want results and we want them fast with a cherry on top. Things require time and our anger is killing the brain. An astronaut doesn’t jump off the ship when he faces turbulence; we, however, have doors of alternatives. We try escaping confrontations until the vessel is about to blast. Try closing the doors shut and be focused. Bond with your loved ones people, have a pleasant conversations and reach conclusions. Life is full of memories and moments – catch them! Preserve them! Don’t fight love; FIGHT for love!
Take Care.