A Bumpy Ride

There was a time when the earth was flat; when there was an end of the world, when you could fall off the edge and be gone. But, then the change came – Round! This went deep in every aspect of life and we started going around in circles – never reaching conclusions. Development made us all more capable but weaker. This little piece is devoted to that change; the change in psychology, the change in us.

These days I am re-reading “The Fountainhead”. I recommend you all to get a copy if you haven’t read it (believe me; Ayn Rand is not giving me any commissions). I always think that the book affects me in undesirable ways (for me or for people, I am not so sure). It makes me less social and more straightforward, which apparently isn’t a very nice thing. Anyways, this is one among many lines to make a note of – Hands do perspire when held too long.

Today an event triggered me. Something that made me reflect back on my relation and the future it holds. I might be too young to preach, but freedom of expression is what makes us grow. The institution of marriage – one area where changes are rarely welcomed; social bindings and unpleasant surprises instil fear in us all. We face roughness in our daily lives too; but, fights between friends or partners – which is more severe? Flipping the coin; spending time or spending a lifetime – which is more charming? After all, nothing is free.

Growth is a painful process. There is a time in our lives when one is carefree. A time when the street shopping and the petty movies are fun; when the stairs outside a closed store is the best place to sit; when your broken legs still carries you cheerfully; when an upsetting thing is a taunt or a comment. We strive for happiness and independence has spoiled us all. Rules are meant to be broken, but I choose few guidelines to live by. U.E.C – Understanding, Expectations and Comparisons; these will be my chosen ones. A firm understanding with mutual expectations and no comparisons is how I will put them.

My Supervisor said that arranged marriages are better than love marriages. I hate to agree to a certain degree. While love marriages provide one the comfort of knowing partner in advance, it poses a problem – History and Comparison. The lover always reminds you of the times when there was fun without worries. But, you wouldn’t do bungee jumping at 90 would you? We always neglect the good additions and focus on the subtractions. There are three E’s of love marriage –
1. Efforts – You just saw your girl.
2. Experiments – You are about to get engaged.
3. Equilibrium – Happily married.

The third phase proceeds to stagnation and the issues begin. Priorities change; People start to adjust and transform. Suddenly Friday nights stop being colorful and Saturdays get lazy. All the annoying habits, nagging, responsibilities and arguments start becoming too much to handle. Gay Hendricks said Most couples have not had hundreds of arguments; they've had the same argument hundreds of times. There is a problem with the society – we want results and we want them fast with a cherry on top. Things require time and our anger is killing the brain. An astronaut doesn’t jump off the ship when he faces turbulence; we, however, have doors of alternatives. We try escaping confrontations until the vessel is about to blast. Try closing the doors shut and be focused. Bond with your loved ones people, have a pleasant conversations and reach conclusions. Life is full of memories and moments – catch them! Preserve them! Don’t fight love; FIGHT for love!
Take Care.

Innovative Reading

Change is the essence of life, a process of surrendering what you are for what you can become. We, human race, on the other hand, are like a tortoise – Slow and Protected. We like things well within the grasp of our fingers and minds, but laugh in the face of innovation. Technology has always amused us at first but, eventually, we subconsciously fall prey to its wonders!

Paperbacks have always been our friends. We have lost and found ourselves in the sea of emotions! The crisp, fresh smell of a new book; a personal signature stamped all over it; memories and smiles – these are just the tip of the iceberg. There is so much that cannot be expressed. The childhood comic strips, early age detective novels, matured philosophies and spirituals – neatly lined up on shelves, ready to be picked up! The next morning, all is gone – a sleek device waiting in its place. That, my friends, is the fruit of technology. I am not stubborn to change, I observe and I chose. I have to accept, the Kindle amazed me!

I was the person who did not like to read e-books. It made my movements very restricted; I could no longer sip a coffee in the lawn and smell the fresh earth while reading my favorites. Strain and efficiency loss are just another by products of LCDs. But like the two sides of a coin, there was one advantage – my memories would never age! There were no folded pages, no torn bindings and no distorted shape.

Kindle removed my cons – my paperback will always be smiling behind the laminated screen! I could buy books on the move at a lower cost, have a variety without weight, highlight and make notes, look up the words instantly and never worry about battery life – all joys of reading intact! I might need a little more care and an initial investment, but for everything we miss, we gain something else, and for everything we gain, we lose something else. A strain level of paperback and capacity of a library, some things are worth a try. I still love to flip pages and I am hopeful for more. After all, if nothing ever changed, there’d be no butterflies.

Eximpress

I have a weird habit; whenever I am free and have no targets to meet, I listen and not talk. I can sit in a corner just staring into empty space; making me slap myself for such non-productiveness. To keep a check on it, I always go around the internet and try to find things that catch my attention. These can include anything from quotations and short stories to hypothetical alien shields and out of the world inventions. Recently I came across an elaborated version of a quote that instigated my neurons. Here’s how it goes “Remember! Work for a cause, not for Applause. Live your life to express, not to impress. Don’t strive to make our presence notified, just make your absence felt.”

I found this very charming in theory; it makes a very beautiful picture in my head. But when I think about everyone around me; I find the very thing absconding. This afternoon I had an informative session on “Effective Technical Writing” and so I thought about putting chronological order to use.

From the time we are born, everything is presented to us in a result oriented way. The parents have a beautiful smile on their faces when you give your first smile. They choke with tears of joy when they hear the first “dada”. Everyone claps and hugs when you sit on your own, have a numerous phone calls made when you walk a foot and fall on your bum. Everyone just keeps aiming higher and higher.

School comes and there are no gold stars for keeping mum. Everyone has to learn the laws of living. If you can’t express, you are nobody. If your expressing fails to impress, you are even worse. If you can’t score, there are others waiting to shoot. I have always considered our education system very superior; it has everything to make us grow. At the same time, I have never appreciated it’s superiority since it is burning a hole in creative minds. Grades, Marks, Appreciations are as far as the eyes can see. Days are over when parents used to sip tea seeing their kids playing in the sand. Time has come for piano lessons and karate classes. “Ignited Minds”...the cliff I see from...”Igniting Minds”.

By the time we are in college, principles are soaped off and honesty is down the drain. A person who doesn’t copy is considered a fool. In corporate world, as put by one of my colleagues, cheating is stamped as “Following Best Practice”. After all, would you re-invent the wheel? There are faculties to impress; there is a special heart to win. There are a thousand classes to make you efficient in body postures and styles; I fail to name two who actually listen to the expressing heart. Well, first impression is the last impression and the clock is ticking.

If someone comes and says that those were the years of learning; that everything was required to stay ahead, I would think further ahead. “No dignity” will be what I come up with for “Responsible” elder life. One is working because there is a boss to promote them. One is going to the temple because there is a wish in heart. One is doing good deeds because almighty is watching and karma is being distributed. Everyone is trying to live in the society, not in their deeds.

Boman Irani said in the 3 Idiots “No one remembers the name of the person who came second. This is the world of cut throat competition, if you can’t win, you’ll be crushed.” No one have the time or the eagerness to care what a person might be hiding under the pile of silence. Rarely people will chase after you and encourage you to work, there is a cost involved and there are positions to be snatched!

"Ex(Im)press", the walls are getting pushed and the good will is fading into the night. There will be no one to set examples, there will be no doomsday; one has to create his own destiny. Today, I ask myself to have more compassion, to have a little more affection. Although the night is cold and the winds are fierce, there is a candle fighting for warmth. The trust might be gone, but the waiting heart is strong. My trainer said “Hope makes a good breakfast but a bad supper”. But, if I can have a beautiful supper, I will gladly accept.