“I love you. All that I have and all that I am...is yours. For you I
have no self, I have no ego. Without you I have no happiness, I have no life. If
there is peace on this earth, it is lying in your arms and listening to your
heart. If there is a magic lamp and there is that one wish, I would wish for
you. If there is a spiritual way to pass on, I would like to be lying next to you
and see that smile one more time before I close my eyes to all the beauty there
is”
I am not sure why am I writing
this. I am not that kind of a person, I have always put my belief in the
practicality of this world. I have always believed on moving out of people’s
life if I am sad – justifying it as ‘I can’t make a person happy if I am not
happy’. Today, I am miserable. But, I still don’t want to move out – there is
something keeping me frozen in time, something telling me to wait; something
warning me that this part of my soul can never be given to anyone else. All in
all, I am a very practical person, I have always believed that there is no love
at first site and there are no soul mates. We all are very small and very similar
pieces of a gigantic puzzle with hundreds of ways in which the pieces can fit; sometimes
they’ll slide right in and at others we’ll have to make a few adjustments to
fit – but, at the end of the day, you will always have someone you feel nice
with. Someone who’ll make it easy to share, to talk, to be with; someone who’ll
make you blush, make you smile, make you cry; someone you believe you can trust
your life with and someone who will even be a pain in your butt, but you’ll
still not let them go!
I almost never liked a person as
a whole, there is always something that turns you on and there is something
that pushes you away. That is the reason you like different things in different
people, people call these the striking features; something that’ll always grab
your attention and make you feel connected to it. It’s not the beautiful things
in them, sometimes it is just something that you can’t define; or maybe there
is no definition of beauty, it’s just your perspective; it’s not real! It’s a
checklist - you like somebody’s smile, a twinkle in their eyes, the way they
carry themselves or the way they hold you; sometimes it would even be as simple
as - the way they listen to you! That is how I see this world - it's a
compromise. You stick with someone because you make yourself believe that you
can be happy with them, or maybe the life is so simple and easy with them.
There could be no passion, but there could be a sorted routine. But, what if
'nice' isn't something that you must look out for? What if there is more out
there?
I always wondered if the stories
about Romeo and Juliet made any sense at all. Why would anyone end their lives
just because they are in love? Why go down that path knowing that it'll not end
well? There will always be someone else and we will always love again - time will
fade away the memories of today and give you a replacement. Today you might be
head over heels for someone, tomorrow you'll move on to other things in your
life. Then why do it? True love? Sense of belonging? I guess the practicality was
my golden era, now my conscience just calls me stupid! :D
Could it be, when they say – ‘true
love is two souls and one body’, that it's actually just one soul, something
without which you feel completely lifeless? Robotic? A state where you could be
surrounded by all the love this world has to offer; all the people who care deeply
about you, and you still feel that you're all alone? I know this post is going
to end up with a comment from a very mature and special friend of mine that ‘I
write only when I am sad' - but maybe that's true. Maybe we tend to think only
when there's trouble. We all get too drunk on our happiness to realize that the
dreams could end abruptly and when they do, there will be nothing to hold on
to.
So, I ask myself today – What is
love? Is it a connection or a reaction that cannot be undone? Is it a drug that
you can’t stay away from? A high where the insults don’t matter, all you tell
yourself is that the person will come back to you since they’re yours. You can
be afraid of it, you can hide it, you can run away from it, you can include
people in your life to replace it - but I believe that the minute you touch
your love, it's all going to come crashing back. What do you do when you know
that your love story is not going to be a success? Could it still be made
beautiful? Something that you can cherish in your heart for the years to come? Something
that you could smile over when you have wrinkles on that pretty face.
Letting something go is a very
easy job, it hurts for a few days and then you find ways to not think about it
at all; sticking with it is what makes us human. We go through a pain day in and
day out until we realize that the pain isn't really a problem. It's something
that you would be glad to have compared to the feeling that you let your soul
mate walk away. How many times do we meet someone who is able to touch our
lives? We meet people, we laugh with them, have a good time and we move on to
someone else. Why do we do that? What are we looking for? Is it that connection
that makes us feel alive, that makes us realize that nothing else really matters?
A connection that makes us realize that that particular moment is all there is;
it is all that you want to remember. A feeling that you've lived it all; a
confidence that you've found it. Then why do we run away from that moment? What
do we fear? If I could smile away my life's happiness in a month, why not grab
it? Why not tell the person how special they are. Why wait for another day to
confront? Why make them sad? Why? And why?
Love has no right and wrong, no logic
and no practicality, no brightness and no darkness - it is just love. A feeling
you can never shake off. A thread that connects you with a person and a smile
that you always adore. A connection that will make you wake up in the middle of
the night feeling restless with an urge to go running to your better half and
just hold them for a few minutes. People see different things in their better
halves - sometimes someone asks you what you like about them and in the moment
you end up acting stupid because you never expected it. You make a fool out of
you, but the truth remains that you love everything about that person - it's a
complete package - you can't take anything out and you can't add anything in,
because you have the part of your soul lying there and there are no corrections
to it. It is what you accept and it is what makes you complete. If there was a
way I could go back in time - I will do it differently; but, even if I can't
have a different beginning - I will still strive to have a different ending.
Sometimes the relations don’t end as a success (the way the world defines that
word), but there could always be beautiful bonds; and I will have it! I am glad that we met!
Speechless!!
ReplyDeleteYou really do write only when you are sad :)...but in the end you did find hope, i like it...lovely text :)
ReplyDeletePain and Sadness in true love between souls, will impact with the same intensity on both sides. If it's troubling only one person, it must be only one sided love my friend. I am hopping for best to happen ahead in this.
ReplyDelete