Incredible India - Chapter 0

Atithi Devo Bhava (The Guest is God) – that, my friends, is us. We have a rich culture and bright minds. We have left a mark everywhere. We have an in-depth education system, Superior moral values, Ethics, Laws, Languages and Diversity. India is unique in many way, one being – In Spite of the variety of culture, we have always lived as a one big family; nourishing and caring for one another; shedding tears for the hurt; healing people in crisis. Full of courage and enthusiasm – When we fall down – we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves of and start walking again! THAT is our problem. We never pick up the banana peel lying on the ground, we simply don’t care; even when we do, we don’t want to!

We have always been told about a charming way to look at life – Glass is half full. We have been told to be positive; that a positive attitude brings miracle. Be it school or college, everyone uses the same expression and smile! But, do you realize the joke? Think again, the glass is half full. Looking at positive side is a very convenient way of escaping negativity. This is good as far as thoughts go. But, it gets alarming when the thoughts start creeping over morals and actions. I certainly don’t want my glass half full.

We have become cheap; morally and spiritually. As I was thinking along, Russell Peters popped into my head. I remembered an episode where he joked about our cheapness. There was a positive side and there was a negative. He said that nobody can insult us by calling us cheap. We hear “cheap” and process it as “smart”. In fact, we have been so dedicated to being cheap for so long that we actually invented the number Zero! Our cheapness changed the world!

So much as we love to brag, there are potholes.  Although, it’s the action of few that brands the whole city, but that is the truth. We have the lowest moral values. We are still encashing the vouchers our ancestors left us. We keep pointing that how the western culture is spoiling our generation…when actually these are the corroding shackles of the past we are trying to preserve. We refuse to think and we deny the growth. With time, our egos have inflated and our thinking has narrowed.

We hold our heads high – A diversified, yet united nation where we prefer erecting and gold plating monuments instead of extending a helping hand. We preach love and kindness; we breed discrimination and favoritism on the basis of birthplace, caste and status. We say that all Indians are equal and then we destroy property in the name of democracy – What for? To actually slide lower in social status; to eat the fruits of opportunity with a lazy lifestyle.  We still have a functional society that supports emotional blackmails and forced marriages; where honor killing and dowry is respected; where love marriages are frowned upon and couples are lawfully beaten on Valentine’s Day. We elect politicians who divide people on basis of states; we worship those who can help us step on our so called brothers. We silently pay the law to protect us and government holds on to its seat instead of promises; where innocence is proportional to money. How long will we watch?

We are at par with everything that happens in the west – Luxuries, Drugs, Sex and everything else. Yet we still talk about the live-ins and abortions, hiding our own figure charts. We still believe in continuing a bitter married life because society has ample of time and it will talk; although, nobody gives a shit. We still prefer our kids to grow up in a conservative environment; telling them that there will be a time for everything – Studies (Primary, calculated to be near about 26years of your life) and Friends (Secondary, only those who top or talk less); a girl/boy friend – Still in a conceptual design phase (After all, a distraction is no no) – Liking and Love is a post mid-life affair! On top of that, money is something we are chasing and health is something we are playing with. We are responsible for letting our hunger grow. 

The generation is trying to break loose, trying to find new ways, trying to attain new balance...and we are trying to keep them in line. We are the ones who think that college education is more than enough for girls; that engineering is always better than law. That safety has to be our first concern and not innovations and experiments. Loved ones don't come first, society does. People who talk are silenced with a perfect line - We all complain, but do nothing. But, can you really do something? Isn't it better to clean one's own house? Isn't that the fastest way to a clean a city? 

We always like to gossip about things. A person who can’t do that is marked Rude/Anti-Social/Dumb! It’s never the solution that interests us; it is the problem that amuses us. Instead of thinking about the solution, we keep tossing the problem around. Always remember - - to spread love, one needs actions; to spread hatred, word of mouth is sufficient.

Today, I don’t have any solid solution. I’ll mark this blog as starting of one. There is one conversation that I’ll quote as the beginning –

Me: “What should be the moral values according to you?”

Friend: “Everyone forms his/her own values”

Me: “What are yours?”

Friend: “Respect every individual. Respect gives rise to Love and Love starts Harmony”.

Me: “That means if the foundation is weak, the whole structure will come down?”

Friend: “That is a BIG Yes”

That means to make our foundation strong, we must first learn to respect ourselves. We must be right to do right. It’s a Monty Hall problem. Behind one door is a car; behind the others, goat. An honest game or an instant win – our choice – our actions. 

Just ask one question – Developed…Developing…Really?

A Bumpy Ride

There was a time when the earth was flat; when there was an end of the world, when you could fall off the edge and be gone. But, then the change came – Round! This went deep in every aspect of life and we started going around in circles – never reaching conclusions. Development made us all more capable but weaker. This little piece is devoted to that change; the change in psychology, the change in us.

These days I am re-reading “The Fountainhead”. I recommend you all to get a copy if you haven’t read it (believe me; Ayn Rand is not giving me any commissions). I always think that the book affects me in undesirable ways (for me or for people, I am not so sure). It makes me less social and more straightforward, which apparently isn’t a very nice thing. Anyways, this is one among many lines to make a note of – Hands do perspire when held too long.

Today an event triggered me. Something that made me reflect back on my relation and the future it holds. I might be too young to preach, but freedom of expression is what makes us grow. The institution of marriage – one area where changes are rarely welcomed; social bindings and unpleasant surprises instil fear in us all. We face roughness in our daily lives too; but, fights between friends or partners – which is more severe? Flipping the coin; spending time or spending a lifetime – which is more charming? After all, nothing is free.

Growth is a painful process. There is a time in our lives when one is carefree. A time when the street shopping and the petty movies are fun; when the stairs outside a closed store is the best place to sit; when your broken legs still carries you cheerfully; when an upsetting thing is a taunt or a comment. We strive for happiness and independence has spoiled us all. Rules are meant to be broken, but I choose few guidelines to live by. U.E.C – Understanding, Expectations and Comparisons; these will be my chosen ones. A firm understanding with mutual expectations and no comparisons is how I will put them.

My Supervisor said that arranged marriages are better than love marriages. I hate to agree to a certain degree. While love marriages provide one the comfort of knowing partner in advance, it poses a problem – History and Comparison. The lover always reminds you of the times when there was fun without worries. But, you wouldn’t do bungee jumping at 90 would you? We always neglect the good additions and focus on the subtractions. There are three E’s of love marriage –
1. Efforts – You just saw your girl.
2. Experiments – You are about to get engaged.
3. Equilibrium – Happily married.

The third phase proceeds to stagnation and the issues begin. Priorities change; People start to adjust and transform. Suddenly Friday nights stop being colorful and Saturdays get lazy. All the annoying habits, nagging, responsibilities and arguments start becoming too much to handle. Gay Hendricks said Most couples have not had hundreds of arguments; they've had the same argument hundreds of times. There is a problem with the society – we want results and we want them fast with a cherry on top. Things require time and our anger is killing the brain. An astronaut doesn’t jump off the ship when he faces turbulence; we, however, have doors of alternatives. We try escaping confrontations until the vessel is about to blast. Try closing the doors shut and be focused. Bond with your loved ones people, have a pleasant conversations and reach conclusions. Life is full of memories and moments – catch them! Preserve them! Don’t fight love; FIGHT for love!
Take Care.

Innovative Reading

Change is the essence of life, a process of surrendering what you are for what you can become. We, human race, on the other hand, are like a tortoise – Slow and Protected. We like things well within the grasp of our fingers and minds, but laugh in the face of innovation. Technology has always amused us at first but, eventually, we subconsciously fall prey to its wonders!

Paperbacks have always been our friends. We have lost and found ourselves in the sea of emotions! The crisp, fresh smell of a new book; a personal signature stamped all over it; memories and smiles – these are just the tip of the iceberg. There is so much that cannot be expressed. The childhood comic strips, early age detective novels, matured philosophies and spirituals – neatly lined up on shelves, ready to be picked up! The next morning, all is gone – a sleek device waiting in its place. That, my friends, is the fruit of technology. I am not stubborn to change, I observe and I chose. I have to accept, the Kindle amazed me!

I was the person who did not like to read e-books. It made my movements very restricted; I could no longer sip a coffee in the lawn and smell the fresh earth while reading my favorites. Strain and efficiency loss are just another by products of LCDs. But like the two sides of a coin, there was one advantage – my memories would never age! There were no folded pages, no torn bindings and no distorted shape.

Kindle removed my cons – my paperback will always be smiling behind the laminated screen! I could buy books on the move at a lower cost, have a variety without weight, highlight and make notes, look up the words instantly and never worry about battery life – all joys of reading intact! I might need a little more care and an initial investment, but for everything we miss, we gain something else, and for everything we gain, we lose something else. A strain level of paperback and capacity of a library, some things are worth a try. I still love to flip pages and I am hopeful for more. After all, if nothing ever changed, there’d be no butterflies.

Eximpress

I have a weird habit; whenever I am free and have no targets to meet, I listen and not talk. I can sit in a corner just staring into empty space; making me slap myself for such non-productiveness. To keep a check on it, I always go around the internet and try to find things that catch my attention. These can include anything from quotations and short stories to hypothetical alien shields and out of the world inventions. Recently I came across an elaborated version of a quote that instigated my neurons. Here’s how it goes “Remember! Work for a cause, not for Applause. Live your life to express, not to impress. Don’t strive to make our presence notified, just make your absence felt.”

I found this very charming in theory; it makes a very beautiful picture in my head. But when I think about everyone around me; I find the very thing absconding. This afternoon I had an informative session on “Effective Technical Writing” and so I thought about putting chronological order to use.

From the time we are born, everything is presented to us in a result oriented way. The parents have a beautiful smile on their faces when you give your first smile. They choke with tears of joy when they hear the first “dada”. Everyone claps and hugs when you sit on your own, have a numerous phone calls made when you walk a foot and fall on your bum. Everyone just keeps aiming higher and higher.

School comes and there are no gold stars for keeping mum. Everyone has to learn the laws of living. If you can’t express, you are nobody. If your expressing fails to impress, you are even worse. If you can’t score, there are others waiting to shoot. I have always considered our education system very superior; it has everything to make us grow. At the same time, I have never appreciated it’s superiority since it is burning a hole in creative minds. Grades, Marks, Appreciations are as far as the eyes can see. Days are over when parents used to sip tea seeing their kids playing in the sand. Time has come for piano lessons and karate classes. “Ignited Minds”...the cliff I see from...”Igniting Minds”.

By the time we are in college, principles are soaped off and honesty is down the drain. A person who doesn’t copy is considered a fool. In corporate world, as put by one of my colleagues, cheating is stamped as “Following Best Practice”. After all, would you re-invent the wheel? There are faculties to impress; there is a special heart to win. There are a thousand classes to make you efficient in body postures and styles; I fail to name two who actually listen to the expressing heart. Well, first impression is the last impression and the clock is ticking.

If someone comes and says that those were the years of learning; that everything was required to stay ahead, I would think further ahead. “No dignity” will be what I come up with for “Responsible” elder life. One is working because there is a boss to promote them. One is going to the temple because there is a wish in heart. One is doing good deeds because almighty is watching and karma is being distributed. Everyone is trying to live in the society, not in their deeds.

Boman Irani said in the 3 Idiots “No one remembers the name of the person who came second. This is the world of cut throat competition, if you can’t win, you’ll be crushed.” No one have the time or the eagerness to care what a person might be hiding under the pile of silence. Rarely people will chase after you and encourage you to work, there is a cost involved and there are positions to be snatched!

"Ex(Im)press", the walls are getting pushed and the good will is fading into the night. There will be no one to set examples, there will be no doomsday; one has to create his own destiny. Today, I ask myself to have more compassion, to have a little more affection. Although the night is cold and the winds are fierce, there is a candle fighting for warmth. The trust might be gone, but the waiting heart is strong. My trainer said “Hope makes a good breakfast but a bad supper”. But, if I can have a beautiful supper, I will gladly accept.

Special Local

Hello everyone,

I was going to share good news with all when I started writing this. Then I thought, “Why would you be so much interested that you’ll actually read a whole blog on it?”. So let me just chip in the news...I am getting a new Bike in the coming week...A Royal Enfield. Pretty excited about the whole thing I tell you, been there to the showroom thrice already since it came...even dragged a few friends to it (Now they have swore that they won’t go anywhere with me). But emotions are everywhere. This little piece you are reading is related to excitements.

Things always look so much better till you don't have them. This applies to everything - A small accessory to people. You just can’t resist the “untouchable”! Then after sometime that special something becomes a routine thing...and there we are...fire gone, Lights out. It feels very good when you think about the first times the things are done...your first game, your first appreciation, your first trip, your first night out, your first kiss...so on. Everything seems so magical! After you actually are in it, you start taking everything for granted, like everything is going to be there forever.

The excitements and its ways are changing now. Today to get excited, I am supposed to go out, watch a movie, do some shopping and eat in a fine diner...that’s the way of life. My uncle was happy when he bought his first table with his money. Now he owns a posh bungalow, every excitement every feeling brick by brick. Our priorities have changed; our happiness now depends on people around us. Getting a bigger TV makes us happy now, having a good image makes us happy now, listening to praises makes us happy now...no matter how dark we are deep in our hearts, it’s people who count. No one wants to live alone and be disliked. Everyone wants to be the gem in the eyes of people who roam the streets.

But I don’t want all this. I still remember my first cassette recording, I still smile when I remember the first time I drove a Luna, I still ring with “So?” when I remember the first time I told a girl that I liked her, I still feel magical when I remember the first time I kissed, I still want to choose people like I always have, I still kick strangers and be with my loved ones against them...I want to live like there’s no one to comment.

Special Local...In the world of people, we begin the cycle as the mysterious magician. If you screw up, you still be the magician but if you make it work you get the role of home. It’s like everyone’s out there having fun on the playground. After everyone’s gone, kid comes back home. He has a nice warm dinner waiting for him, a cosy bed upstairs and maybe even a bedtime story. It’s like a permanent structure that will be there. You have to please the people everyday but painting the home once every year seems to do the trick. Be careful though...floors do creak, pipes do leak, doors do crack, wires do spark...homes do fall. Never take your happiness for granted, you’ll end up turning fire to smoke. Don’t keep waiting guys. Live like there is no tomorrow.

Take Care.

Hope and Hope-less

It’s not exactly before midnight...or maybe even close to it. But, my girl is having a night out and I am not invited, so what the hell. Let me share the boredom with you guys, they say sharing helps. And well, being the blog owner has its own advantage. Kidding guys, as if a blog owner is the highest authority on earth. But I am stuck with a stupid movie list and my friend is not even online during daylight saving! She’s probably sleeping with curtains pulled. So, I came in to write the first part about the most volatile thing.

Emotions...that is one crazy sea every sailor fears to sail in. We start the talks at our yacht and we get drifted to some god forsaken island. Then we wonder how we got there and ways to get back home. Wait for help, dive in on your own...once you are at a different island...you are pretty much done. Some lucky ones find the yacht again. Humans and emotions...It’s said that emotion and the ability to express them is what makes us human. But the connections between heart and brain, who is doing the thinking when...or is it just a way to get excuses for out indecisive and volatile thinking...I still get confused with all. We should solve the mystery someday...but not today. Last night I was wondering what makes us weaker...Hope or Fear.

Hope is a feeling that keeps us calm, it tells oneself that everything will turn out just fine. It in a way makes a person do a particular thing.

Fear on the other hand tells oneself to stay away. It makes a person “NOT” do a particular thing.

One thing I always did was to bank on hope. We keep thinking so much that everything will turn out good that we start actually believing in what is not there at present. Hope is one thing that seriously keeps us pinned to the past. One of my best friends always told me “Why do you keep standing in the middle of the road? Move to either side” and I always gave her the same reply “I am waiting to get hit”. I never could. I believed so much in hope that I lost so many wonderful things along the way. So I thought “Hey, Hope is taking all the credits! Let’s do some justice to fear too.”

You know guys; it’s very good to keep up hopes. It will hold your hand in worst times. It will always keep you motivated and energized towards the future. Nobody knows what is out there waiting for you today and fear always kills half of you on the spot. You can’t swim...you won’t go in the water. On the other hand, fear can be a blessing too. You can’t dance...you will a different way to be charming. But I believe that hope takes away one very important thing – Alternative. You will always find ways to do things differently if you fear something. But you would be stuck at one spot if you hope too much.

I was in my college when I realized that something was wrong with good old hope. There was one question I was stuck with while experimenting with alternatives; does hope give us a temporary boost while actually weakening us over the years? Should we really bank on a cheque that might come instead of getting a new job? Angels and Demons, both are powerful; both can ruin you. Why are angels good then?

Small shots of fear always keep us pinned to reality. Hope on the other hand is like a mars bar, it keeps you high till the taste is there. When it’s gone you miss it. I believe we should hope-less and look for alternatives. Make life a roller coaster ride; ups and downs have their own fun.

Twist the emotions people and let me reach a conclusion.

Take care.

Alcohol - A Sweet Addiction

Hi all, how are you doing? Worrying about bank balances or hair problems? What is the planning for tonight? All schedules up-to-date? Let's talk about me in the first line of first blog though. Me, I am a curious man. Everything I see, I need to know the logic behind it. I keep on bugging people till they pull their hair out, but OK let's talk about that some other day. Presently, let me celebrate the final opening of a blog after months of brooding and laziness. So what should we have? Drinks? A toast?

Last night I got an urge to go out and have a drink. Alcohol, it's something that has been consumed since prehistoric times for a variety of dietary, medicinal, religious, and recreational reasons. Now they even use them in hand sanitizers! It is the most widely consumed drink after Water and Tea. But when it comes to consuming alcoholic beverages, it's such a social taboo. I have seen kids sneaking behind elder's backs to get a taste of it. Maybe it is something about the attractiveness of the "Forbidden Fruit" that pulls them into it. I have seen parents who have full confidence on their kids that they won't do it ever. I tell you about mine, no one touches alcohol in my whole family tree. But does that alone make me a non-drinker? And how exactly would you define a Drinker? Me, I am a social drinker. I usually drink when there is some special occasion, when we dance to the tunes in discos, when we want to share, when we need to get light, when we want to get close. But I never understand why we get such urges. I do have my own theories on it. One friend of mine once said "You don't have enough will power. Don't talk about controlling the habit. If you could, you would never have started drinking." People are addicted to shopping, food, etc...But it always "He is just a bit fat", "He's big boned"? Or "She's a diva!". Drink Alcohol and your social ratings will fall faster than the desert temperatures. Be a girl on top of that and boom! You have a deadly combination right there. But then I ask myself, why it happens that way in reality. People are all developed in different ways, according to societies, according to families, according to friends...even according to TV channels.

"Kanpai!", they say we are just looking out for a reason to do it. We see it at marriage functions, festivals, parties...people laughing their heads off, behaving in stupid ways and doing all sort of things. Does drinking make you strong or weak? I like the geeks in a TV series called "The Big Bang theory", each of them has a distinct personality. The same personality changes into something else when they drink. Is it all there in us but we are just bounded by social strings?

Drunkenness, Hangovers, Stupid Behavior...are they really that bad? What is the life that we have? A rat race? The other day while browsing through my Gmail account, one particular status message caught my attention. On digging, I found it to be modified version of a quote by Lily Tomlin. She said "The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat". Now mind you, I am not talking in a socially irresponsible way. I accept that one needs to have securities, bank balances, rapport...so on and so forth. But i ask you, how much time are we giving ourselves and our dear ones? The hearts are pumping Competition. A pretty girl says no, you are all pumped up. Isn't it a little better to 'not be you' for a little time and freak out? I mean, yes bad incidents do happen when we see this in a real life scenario. But then no one has stopped using and developing science either. Life is all about probabilities and chances. No one leaves people they literally hate, they are all out there.

Go grab a chance you have today rather than banking on tomorrow. Laugh you head off once in a while compared to following life in suits. Be a little stupid today and go after people rather than being sorry tomorrow. Just not be yourself and make a different memory today rather than flipping a monotonous memory file tomorrow. Variety is the spice of life? Hell yes. Between robots and recklessness, I would certainly choose the latter.

So, Kanpai guys and beautiful ladies (sorry guys, nothing special for us)! I leave this blog to you to twist and turn the opinions. Let's have some fun.

Take Care.